just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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