it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
