Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
