I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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