dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
