yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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