Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
