Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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