I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
