she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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