Cold hands, warm shart.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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