so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
