drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
