please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
