im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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