My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
