So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
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