we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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