Duck Duck Cougar?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
worst night to have a conscience
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
