You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
