He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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