i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I smell stomach acid.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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