college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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