I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize