Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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