Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
