Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
