Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
