I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
