Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
