took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize