Is it normal to miss your booty call?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
