I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
