We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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