***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
