it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
