They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
