Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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