she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
