he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
