Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
