he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
