Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
