CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
