I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
did you just send me my own nude
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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