you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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