i barfeds in our rink
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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