I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
