And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
