Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
