if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
