well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
