She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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