This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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