there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
