that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Randomize
