OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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