i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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