Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
