im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
