I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize