How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You're like the curious george of whores
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
