No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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