I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
