Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
