i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
