That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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