i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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