Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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