Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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