Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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