Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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