do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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